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Day 4: A habit you wish you didn't have

A habit I wish I didn't have...there are a few but the biggest one would have to be worrying about what other people think of me. Ever since the beginning of high school I have always placed so much emphasis on what others have thought of me. It's something which has held me back. It's not so much worrying what people think about the way I look, but rather, the way I act and the things I do. It's led me to do things with the aim of making people like me...not a good path to go down. Sometimes I catch myself wanting to say something out loud in a group of people, but then hold back, afraid of what others might think. Why is that we place such importance on the words of strangers, and not enough on the words of those who love and care about us.

Wanting everyone to like me is a childish dream I know. But I just can't seem to shake it. My Dad often used to say to me that it's impossible, "You can't make everyone like you. In life it's important for people to respect you, not just to like you Rox". So why is this such a hard thing to come to terms with? In the past I have let people walk all over me, for fear of offending them. I end up making the most effort with those that I feel don't like me, while those who love me are often left out in the cold. It's unrealistic to think that I can be friends with everyone. But often I wonder, "well, why not?". At the grand old age of 23 I have come to realise that this is all a part of growing up. I am no longer that little girl desperately trying to make new friends, rather I am more sure of myself and where I am going, even if I'm not sure how to get there yet.  Little by little I am trying to let go of constantly wanting to please others, and doing more things to please me. I've heard people say that it takes only 10 days to make a habit, but only 1 to break it. So here's to the next 10 days :)